my fix

lately i've been feeling quite restless with myself. it's an overwhelming feeling really, that feeling of...where is my life going? i'm not stressed out about it, i'm not sad, i'm just...restless. i've come out of this 'sick of school, sick of learning, i just want to have fun' phase of my post-college existence and have had this craving for a richer quality of life. at first, i thought this restlessness would get the best of me and that i would never be able to quench it, but i've come up with a few methods for my fix, which have subsequently turned into addictions.

1. "52 in '09" - my plan is to read 52 books in 2009. i decided this about a week and a half ago, so for a while, i will need to be averaging 2/week to catch up. i'm halfway through my 3rd book and feelin' good. I've read the first 2 Twilight books and am about to finish On the Road by Jack Kerouac. If you have any favorite books you'd like to recommend, give me a shout out ;)

- on a side note, i really love Twilight. like, really love it - i've gotten 2 of my coworkers to be vampire-obsessed with me, and 2 more are about to break. we've seriously turned into a book club of sorts.

2. beef up the netflix - i've added every film that has won an academy award for best picture over the last 20+ years or so (and many that were nominated). not to mention, movies with actors/actresses who won for their performances. i have truly started to appreciate cinema for what it is: a beautiful, living art form. i'll average about 2 movies a week (probably more). mindless chick flicks are going on the back burner for a while...unless they happen to have won a prestigious award. no offense to the romantic comedies (although it IS my favorite movie genre, after all).

3. i'm currently planning a few domestic vacations: Seattle, Washington - it is supposed to be very similar to Austin (swoon) and it's by the water. i've been doing a little online researching and i'm sold - definitely will be spending a weekend there in the next few months (ivy...we're doing it). i'm also planning a road trip that involves Nashville and Atlanta - i think Whit is going to be my accomplice, which will be a thrill ;) that will most likely be a 5 day adventure. KH and i also want to take a mini-vacay someplace where we can lay and soak up the sun and sip some margs. cozumel? cabo perhaps? it's in the works. now, about saving up the dough to get me to all these places....

so that's my simultaneous 3-step program. constantly reading, sporadically watching films, and perpetually planning trips. i'll let you know how it helps my curious case of restlessness :)

love/miss/namaste.

happy love-day

i'm really glad i have wonderful friends, i am so thankful for my adorable parents, boston is the best dog in the entire world and my roomie is so amazing.

good things. good things. i'm feeling the love. 

can you see right through me? i'm trying really hard not to be my usual v-day-hater self. especially because i am so blessed. my life is a gift from God, anything else i get is gravy. 

my plans for the weekend:

- spa treatment with the roomski

- mani with my mommy

- going out on the town with roomie and friends :)

maybe i'll watch schindler's list...i did get it in my netflix today...

love/miss/namaste

10 truths.

so ivy tagged me AGAIN :) and i have to list 10 truths about myself. which is ok because i have to write a facebook note listing 25, so i'll just have some overlapping information. 

1. i want to have a lot of kids, probably brangelina-style. i've been thinking about that a lot lately.

2. i like singing - in the shower, in the car, in bars. i'm kind of shy about it because i don't want to be that girl who thinks she's good at singing and then everyone makes wide eyes behind her back because she's godawful. i know i'm not anything special, but i think i'm alright. i've always wished i could be a singer.

3. i am really good at impersonating people. sometimes i think i should audition for SNL. 

4. i wish i was 3 inches shorter. i think short people are cute, not to mention lucky, because there are more guys that are a lot taller than them. and i like to feel small.

5. i hated reading in high school. the only book i think i read all the way through was A Tale of Two Cities (which i enjoyed) and in college, i hated reading even more (except my fashion textbooks, obviously). i felt like being rebellious because i hated being TOLD what to read. now i regret it and wish i was more of a reader.

6. i WISH i was cool enough to be a music and movie snob. i try, but i'm a poser.

7. i am embarrassed to say that i'm an only child because i'm scared that i fit the stereotype. i hate the stigma that goes along with it, i envy people who have siblings, and i HATE when i have to come out and say that i'm an only child to someone, and they go, "OOOOOOOOOH, i see." 

8. it is really hard for me to just have a 'friend'. you're either one of my best friends, or you're an acquaintance. i am way too open with people and want to know everything about a person (and want them to know everything about me) to just have 'friends'. i would much rather have a few really really close friends (or small tight groups of friends) than have a ton of 'peeps'. 

9. i think making out is super fun. 

10. i don't take super good care of my teeth. sure, i brush them before i go to bed, but i'm not a regular flosser and sometimes i just gargle mouthwash or pop in some whitening gum in the mornings to fake it. scratch that, practically every morning. probably shouldn't have said that after disclosing #9. dumbass.

love/miss/namaste.

freaking february

january was a flash. can we just skip right over to march? i am so not in the mood for february this year. this is the month when people get a little nuts and i don't like it one bit. never have.

sorry that was so short. i literally have nothing to report (as you can see from the previous post). maybe i'll get more interesting in the next few days....

love/miss/namaste.

check it out:

have you ever had one single thought that turned into a million other thoughts, and then before you know it, you're thinking of something completely random? let me walk you through the last 30 seconds of my brain:

what should i write about in my blog today? there's absolutely nothing going on. i have zero plans tonight, which makes me kind of happy because earlier i almost had a panic attack thinking i had plans that i forgot about (but then peacefully recalled that i didn't). oh well - i'll probably eat the rice i made at lunch today for dinner along with some red vino (KH and i made stir fry last night and had leftovers for lunch, we didn't have enough rice so i made more, resulting in double leftover rice). i absolutely love red wine, i could drink it every day. i love rice too. in asia, they make rice wine - which is sake. mmm, sake bombs are the best. it was so fun when we had them at sushi sake a couple of weeks ago. kona grill has really cheap sake bombs during happy hour! i love that they have a reverse happy hour - that's really convenient for the frugal folks like me who like to go home and have a rest after work before venturing out. which is why i'm excited about the reverse happy hour we're going to tomorrow night at Sangria. hopefully i will still get to go, my car did not start this morning so i need to get it fixed tomorrow. i could write about that, but it will probably just make me look dumb because i know nothing about cars and it's probably my fault it broke. man, i hope i get to try Sangria's sangria. we drank it at fireside pies (delicious) just before we saw the fray on monday night. oh i dearly love the fray. alas, i've already written about them in my previous post. sigh. 

and there you have it. 30 seconds in my brain starting with having no plans, ending with the fray...again. sorry - no new material. but if you want, you can check out the other blog i created that is not about my personal life at all! it's about cool things instead. 

this may be more interesting...

love/miss/namaste.

the fray = the best

ok, obviously not the ultimate best. i can't ever say what my all-time fav band is just yet. but the fray is definitely up there. KH and i saw them at the house of blues last night and it rocked our world. we went out to a little place on henderson called fireside pies, split a pizza and drank some sangria and then went to the hob - such a fun date night ;) and a musical treat to our eager ears.

if you don't like the fray (i will fight you), or haven't heard much of them (which is highly unlikely), i want to tell you why i love them. and they have a new album which comes out on feb 3. you have probably heard their new single "you found me" - which is an incredible song. KH heard them discussing it's meaning on kissFM yesterday and it really blew us away.

the song is speaking to God - and it's the touching on the question that all people of faith probably ask at least one point in their lives: "why do really bad things happen to good people? why do we suffer?" it's a question that i'm sure people who don't believe ask too, but in a different way.  i highly encourage you to read or watch an interview with isaac slade and the rest of the band when they discuss the lyrics to this heartwrenching track:

i found god on the corner of 1st and amistad

where the west was all but won

all alone, smoking his last cigarette

i said, "where you been?"

he said, "ask anything."

where were you when everything was falling apart?

all my days spent by the telephone that never rang

all i needed was a call that never came to the corner of 1st and amistad

lost and insecure, you found me

you found me lying on the floor, surrounded

surrounded, why'd you have to wait?

where where you? where were you?

just a little late, you found me

you found me

but in the end, everyone ends up alone

losing her, the only one that's ever known who i am, who i'm not and who i wanna be

no way to know how long she will be next to me

lost and insecure, you found me

you found me lying on the floor, surrounded

surrounded, why'd you have to wait?

where were you? where were you?

just a little late, you found me

you found me

early morning, the city breaks

i've been calling for years and years and years and years

and you never left me no messages

you never send me no letters

you've got some kind of nerve, taking all of our......

lost and insecure, you found me

you found me lying on the floor, surrounded

surrounded, why'd you have to wait?

where were you? where were you?

just a little late, you found me

you found me, why'd you have to wait 

to find me?

KH said that in the interview, "amistad" is a reference to God as our first friend (amistad means friendship). while God will always find you, at times he waits. but never to "teach us a lesson" or let us suffer because of anything we've done - this is just the world we live in. it was once a pure and sinless place, but we let satan get the best of us and the world stopped being perfect. but something satan didn't account for was the better place God's preparing, where everything will be right, darkness can't touch us. and we are able to see small glimpses of heaven in this world, giving us hope.

i've been a little emo lately. can you tell? maybe i'm losin' it?

seriously, though. tell me what you think about this song. i love discussions of a spiritual or musical nature. when they combine - i get happy.

love/miss/namaste.

unfaithful.

KH and i took a road trip to Austin this weekend. it was SO nice to be back, i hadn't been since September 21st. one thing i realized about myself was that i am an austin snob. some people are music snobs, some are movie snobs...but i, my friends, am a HUGE austin snob. here's why:

- i believe austin is the best city there is. if you try to tell me otherwise, i will fight you. in a cage. to the death.

- i hate going to places like Chili's when i'm there. that's lame. freaking go to trudy's or you're stupid. or magnolia cafe. or kerbey lane. or blue star cafe. or anything...but chili's. 

- there is no dress code. austin is one of the most inspiring places, fashionably speaking, yet "what you wear" or "who you wear" in austin is not something that defines you or puts you in a specific group. there is no uniform there. austin fashion is simply a reflection of your character and what inspires you as a unique person. that's why i love fashion - and that's why i love austin.

- there are always people outside. there is always something to do. whether you're shopping on south congress, biking around townlake, running in a half marathon (or just trying to navigate around roped off streets due to marathons - like me), you always see people out and about. the city is BUSTLING. it is bustling, people. 

- there is just something about that tower that makes my heart melt. 

and the list goes on and on....but that's just a glimpse of my snobbish tendencies (i know you know what i'm talking about). and since i've moved to dallas and fallen in love with this city too, i feel like i'm cheating. i literally feel like i am being unfaithful to the city who raised me, who nurtured me and grew me into the woman i am right in this moment. i'm being unfaithful to the place where i made some of the best friends i will ever have - the place where friendships turned into lifelong love affairs. the place where i first fell in love with a boy and experienced that can't breathe, can't sleep, can't-live-without-you feeling. the place where i found MY jesus - the one who lives in my heart. i'm cheating on the place where i learned to be a grown up so that i had the capability to move and start a career. i am eternally indebted to the wonderful gifts that austin, texas has given me the past 5 years. 

[so, austin, i'm sorry for leaving. forgive me for being unfaithful. i do love dallas, but this place will never replace you. i'll come home someday, promise.]

love/miss/namaste.