NYResolutions Part 2

before i tell the tale of my Christmas in Jackson Hole and the shenanigans that i got myself into there, i'm going to finish up my resolutions for 2010 in what i like to call the "2009, Get the Frick Up Out My Life" post:

1. be clean, starting with the cube and hopefully expanding to include my room, i don't know. i don't know if we'll have enough time.

2. soooo...a little late in the game last year i decided to implement my 52 in 09 plan. the outcome was 50% successful because i chose some real long books and got a teensy bit distracted. BUT i am re-implementing this year's to be more attainable: The Big 5-0 in Twenty-Ten.

3. i've worked out more in the last 3 months than i have in the last 5 years combined. "LD, that is sad and pathetic. how are you not a contestant on the biggest loser by now?" well, i'll answer you: i've got skinny genes. (pun? yes.) i am also a monet: from far away i look alright but up close it's a bit disappointing. i'm not trying to be all self-depreciating, but there's a good type of thin and a no good type of thin (the kind that involves zero muscle mass and a cheesy ass - i'm sorry if that was graphic)...so now that i have a gym membership and my very own yoga mat and a workout buddy (CC - boss bff), i am kickin' it into high gear! never again will i move into a new place and be embarrassed that i can't lift heavy things!

4. number 4 is a list within a list. but it's something i've been working on for a few months now. it's my "30 before 30" - 30 things i want to accomplish before i turn 30. marriage and kiddos aren't things one can really count on or exercise a dominant influence over, so i'm not sweatin' it...i'm giving myself goals that i can control while i'm waiting on the universe to throw me a bone in the "fate" arena.

5. aaaand drum roll. not really, this will be anticlimactic: Here's to Better Men in 2010!


love/miss/namaste.

cubie love and NYResolution #1.

i'm a messy person, i just am. so to kick off my list of new years resolutions, i'm going to start with keeping my cubicle clean. if i surround myself in a less cluttered environment, i'm bound to experience less stress in my life. right?! if i clean my cube all my problems will be solved! LOL!

to do lists...my favorite thing. especially on tuesdays when i title it: Tue-Do List. aaaahhahaha!

"you are small and good" - you read that right.

crap. it's just everywhere. i think there's a fall 2010 eyewear collection in there somewhere...

i mean, everywhere.

i can't believe it's been 19 months since i started working here. the above photo represents 19 months of crap building up since i started. i am a hoarder. but not in 2010.
*please ignore the photos from that-time at the beginning of that post and focus on the fresh, clean cubie toward the end. i'm a masochist, MWAHAHA!

love/miss/namaste.

breedism.

i realize that my last post was pretty dramatic, so i need to follow up with a subject that i'm equally passionate about: my dog

if you know me even the slightest bit you know that i'm obsessed with my dog (see above, my work computer). i love her so much i cry sometimes and whisper to her, "i hope you live until i'm 97 and we die at the same time." i even talk to her in a strange voice i can't control. boston is more than my pet, she is part of my identity...and my life has never been the same since that blissful day in august that dani and i brought home our little brother & sister bundles. i've been bossie's mama for over 2 years now and i can honestly say that my life would suck without her (yes, i just watched the glee finale for the 3rd time).

but one thing i just want to get off my chest is that breedism hurts. if you have judged another person for the type of dog they own, you are a breedist. if you look at boston's and my family photos and immediately think, "ugh, that dog is rat" you are a breedist. and this offends me.

i'm mainly speaking to the people who think that if a dog isn't a lab or a golden retriever, or any other large hunting dog for that matter...it's not a real dog. you know, the dudes who act all smug about small "girly" dogs. well listen up, pal: i'm tired of feeling like i need to defend my choice of canine to you, because i don't. do you know how many times someone's asked me what kind of dog i have and upon saying, "chihuahua," this person (usually an arrogant know-it-all dude) goes, "oooooh. you're one of thooooose girls. ahahahaha!" excuse me. but since when does owning a chihuahua make girls ditzy hobags who run around in heels and mini skirts wearing matching rhinestone necklaces with their furry best friends who are probably named 'nikki' or some crap? paris hilton: she is to blame.

do i like big dogs? absolutely! do i hope to have a huge awesome dog someday and name him bogart after the famous humphrey? for shiz! am i mature enough to know that owning a dog that outweighs me and attempting to offer it a full and happy life in a small condo with no backyard is irresponsible, or dare i say, reckless? you betcha.

one last question: can you conveniently zip up your border collie in the front of your puffy vest and bring her shopping with you so you don't get lonely and stressed during the holiday rush at a busy mall? prob not, bra. not that you'd want to. you're too badass for that.

what i'm saying is, just because my dog has a semi-high-pitched bark and won't go dove hunting with you doesn't mean she's a waste of space. she is always there for me when i need her and she is the cutest freaking thing on this earth, not to mention, incredibly photogenic (LOL!). and she is not, i repeat NOT, a rat.

awesome emo pic of bos.

if you own a big (or popular) breed of dog, i think that is great! i'll probably want to come over to your house and play fetch with it and hug it like a person. i'm not accusing anyone of breedism (cough, cvh), i just want to put this message out into the great cyber universe and speak up for those who can't speak in a human language. and speak for myself 'cause i'm tired of this crap. every dog deserves to be loved and respected... i shouldn't have to say, "no, no, it's not like that...she's actually really cool!!" 5 minutes after i meet a new person and reveal my life story to them. you know?

and while i don't consider myself a cat person only because they make me sneeze my face off - they most definitely make lovely companions too. i think cats are mad-cool, furreals (pun intended!).

oh! and i just realized after writing this post that ivy is getting a little chi of her own - and i can't wait to meet little pepper ruths!

love/miss/namaste.

ps. i promise that my next post will neither involve my hopelessly pathetic obsession with song lyrics or be a rant about a made-up social issue derived by the rude comments i get from guys.

sorry, that last post was a doozy.

i can't play an instrument, but i can listen to music real good.

my parents met when they were both in the high school band. my mom played the flute and my dad played the trumpet. still, my dad is a very musical person. he is a self-taught pianist, and can pretty much pick up any horn and blow sweet sounds. me? no such blessing.

it's safe to say that i'm drawn to all things musical. i grew up listening to my dad bang on his keys most mornings as i got ready for school, and would often sing along with him other times he'd play. i'm pretty sure i got my quirky taste in music from my dad. i can't resist belting out a wild, "cause he's LO-VIN, TOUCHIN' ANOOOOTHERRRR, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN GIRL TO CRYYY, NANANANANANNA..." or the classic, "Power of Love" by Huey Lewis. i'm not the girl you come to for newness and i sure don't think i'm a music connoisseur. i just know what i like.

and we all know my dating habits.

so when dani suggested that we make mixes for each other, i got pretty pumped. she and i have very different music tastes, but i love exploring new things and sharing my loves with others, so this idea was stellar to me. when she came, we both admitted to have made mixes on our computers, but we hadn't burned them so the exchange never came to fruition. it's alright, though, because i've decided just to post it here so that everyone can share it.

this is not a mix of favorite songs, although they have become favorites. this is a mix of songs that have been particularly speaking to me during this season i my life, for better or worse. you could probably even classify this playlist as just a collection of depressing songs - which in essence, it is - but they make me happy, and here's why i think they do:

you know that book, the 5 languages of love? well i took the test a couple weeks ago which revealed that my #1 love language is touch, and my close 2nd is words of affirmation. stick with me, cause this might get a little complicated:

the way i listen to music, music that i really connect with, is a physical experience. music is one of the reasons i probably won't answer the phone if you call while i'm driving. sometimes i feel like the music comes out of the speakers and envelops me, i breathe it in and it fills my lungs. it wraps around my head and goes into my ears and sinks into the wrinkles of my brain and i feel it's tight hold on my body from the inside to the outside. the melody swirls around in an unseen waterfall of colors and flowers and objects from my imagination - anything from faces to places to trinkets that hold special meaning to me...and i really do feel like i'm being touched. then, when the words take meaning in my head and i'm able to relate to them, i feel understood. lyrics give me the affirming words that i crave so much. in music, i am loved. dramatic much? prob.

all this to say, i'm no musician - but i appreciate music like it's my job. so here are 18 tracks who've been loving me for the last few months...it's getting pretty serious :)

1. Heartbreak Warfare by John Mayer (from Battle Studies)
B and I have joked that John Mayer interviewed us (separately) to gather material for this album. Sad but so, so true. "Disappointment has a name, it's Heartbreak."
2. Something's Missing by John Mayer (from Heavier Things)
"...how come everything i think i need always comes with batteries? what do think it means...?"
3. Where I Stood by Missy Higgins (from On a Clear Night)
"i don't know who i am without you, all i know is that i should. she will love you more than i could, she who dares to stand where i stood."
4. Wait it Out by Imogen Heap (from Ellipse)
ok, after every, i mean every line of this song, i want to say, "i know, right?!" it's so well written and encompasses so much of how one feels during a quarterlife crisis: "pain on pain on play repeating. with a backup makeshift life in waiting. everybody says time heals everything, but what of the wretched hollow? the endless in between...are we just going to wait it out? / all i want, only one street-level miracle. i'll be an out and out born-again from none more cynical."
5. Dreams by Fleetwood Mac (from the Dance)
because everybody knows that "thunder only happens when it's rainin' and players only love you when they're playin'." sing it, stevie!
6. I Feel it All by Feist (from the Reminder)
this is upbeat and awesome and liberating. "i'll be the one to break my heart / i know more than i knew before, now i know i'm gonna win the war." i dare you not to swing your hair to this little ditty.
7. Sentimental Heart by She & Him (from Volume One)
the lyrics prettttty much speak for themselves, but if you haven't listened to the haunting voice of Zooey Deschanel, you don't know what you're missing.
8. Tymps (the Sick in the Head Song) by Fiona Apple (from Extraordinary Machine)
ahahahaha: "i'm either so sick in the head, i need to be bled dry to quit...or i just really used to love him, i sure hope that's it."
9. Get Him Back by Fiona Apple (from Extraordinary Machine)
this is kinda vengeful....but it's great fun to sing along to...
10. Thieving by Lovedrug (from Everything Starts Where it Ends)
no words, just sounds to describe this: it involves me closing my eyes and sighing loudly.
11. Champagne High by Sister Hazel (from Fortress)
"where will i be when i stop wondering why?"
12. Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch (from Time Without Consequence)
this dude is awesome. become a fan.
I want to tattoo these lyrics on my person someday: "my salvation lies in your love."
13. Let it Be by the Beatles (from Let it Be)
needed to be here. it just did.
14. Free Fallin' cover by John Mayer (from Live in Los Angeles 2007)
i am a massive tom petty fan, totally dig him and those heartbreakers. but the first time i heard john's (yeah, we're on a first name basis) cover of free fallin' it was like i heard it for the first time, no lie. my eyes welled up with tears and i just kept repeating, "and the good girls go home with broken hearts. and the good girls go home with broken hearts. and the good girls go home with broken hearts..."
15. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by John Mayer (from Continuum)
...
16. Cry On Demand by Ryan Adams (from Demolition)
i just close my eyes and think of you.
17. Mockingbirdsing by Ryan Adams (from Cold Roses)
this is one of my favorite ryguy songs. so lovely, "love her in the ways you want to be loved..."
18. Shadowlands by Ryan Adams (from Love is Hell)
this is one of those songs that gets physical, it lets me clear my mind completely. sit alone in your car or room, turn this up as loud as your eardrums will allow and just let the song happen to you. you really can't experience the instrumental last half of the song without being... affected.

love/miss/namaste.

sorry to disappoint.

but sparks did not fly. don't get me wrong, fun was had. there was a fantastic group dinner at chuy's, 80's night at lotus, mini golf, sister hazel...all great, wonderful things. but i just wasn't feeling the romance. and that's ok! i didn't get jumped, murdered, or anything awful like that. it was just a bit awkward. like, sofa king awkward.see? we totally had fun. i let him beat me in mini golf.

anyways, i think it's just that i'm not attracted to the european type. you know: thin, uber trendy, real serious about dance moves, mysterious accent, etc. honestly, show me a chubster who can't dress himself and wants to curl up on the couch and watch sportscenter with me...and i'm down for the count, swoon city. i wish i was kidding.

but i would have to say that this sister hazel concert was definitely the highlight of the weekend. they were phenomenal, i forget how much i love that band. they were rockin' it too. the lead guitar player was ridiculous. i loved how much fun those dudes looked like they were having up there too. they were genuinely having a blast, laughing and jammin' out. so sweet.

i also loved their opener, tyrone wells. he was cutie with some pipes and lovely lyrics. i have definitely become a fan...check out sea breeze...

sunday afternoon was spent on the terrace. bos and i laid outside on the couch and read for almost 3 hours before falling asleep. it was dark when i woke up...and it was awesome.

and so another week begins.

love/miss/namaste.

so...this is random...

after the week i've had, it will be nice to have a good fun weekend. i'm not going to sit here and type out my sob story about how i feel like a horse who's had a carrot dangled in front of it's face. but i'll tell you that i wish i could take a big bite out of that friggin' carrot, chew it up, and then spit it out right now. that's neither here nor there, i've got something loads more juicy:

me and the rooms in London

ho-k. so remember when i went to london? weeeeell, there is a little tidbit about that trip that i ever-so-slyly left out of the blog. i may or may not have met someone while i was there (gasp!). this person may or may not be an adorable australian. let me explain.

the international adventure crew (KH, holly, jill, me)

my roommate, travel buddy, and all around great friend KH was the most excited about going to london. me? i was ready for barcelona (and rightfully so...wowza). but see, in college, KH studied abroad in london for 3 months and while abroad, met some fabulous people. one in particular she developed a relationship with. i will not disclose the details of said relationship because it is no longer of the romantic persuasion and she has since moved on. however, the second evening we were in london, KH had set up a dinner with this old friend whom she hadn't laid eyes on in 2 years for a little catch up. jill, holly, and i had no agenda, so naturally we were all totally stoked to have dinner plans with a local. this local brought a friend.

oh don't you worry. we rocked barsa. clearly.

he was really cool and actually went out with us after dinner (by himself!). he showed us some london hot spots, we all did a little dancing, and it was also the night we discovered how frickin' bad awesome london cabs are! the back seats face each other like a limo! it's mind blowing, really. anywho, this adorable australian (who i will not refer to in this blog in abreevs because AA is not a fitting connotation) invited us to a party the next night as well. i'm not going to sit here and tell you that we fell in love...not like jill and scotty...but there was definitely flirtatious energy. he's a complete gentleman and i'd be lying if i said that i wished that we could've just skipped spain altogether and finished out the trip in the UK. but we didn't, i loved spain, and that's that. here's where it gets interesting:

we email. it's nothing scandalous. there's no mush. i basically have an international pen pal who i happen to have fond memories with from 2 london evenings. who also has an adorable accent and seems to be very intrigued by my boring life. i'd say we email about once a week. some weeks, it's every day, other times we'll go 2 weeks without contact. there is no drama or awkwardness, we're just there. we've talked on the phone a bunch of times and text a bit (lord knows what my bill looks like but mom and pop haven't said anything yet...ok yes, my parents still pay my phone bill. i keep telling them i can do it!! but i'm also an only child and single and whiny about it so they love feeling like they still take care of me, it's a win-win. don't judge). why is this all surfacing now, you ask? well prepare to change your skivies cause this one'll make you wet yourself: HE IS COMING HERE. TOMORROW.

yes, you read that right. my adorable australian from london is flying in tomorrow to spend the weekend with me. "can i just pop over for a visit?" he says. i'm all, "yeah right dude. sure, come on over!!" - that was me being sarcastic and disbelieving. welp, he done it. sent me his flight information last week and by george, he'll be here at 7PM tomorrow for no other reason than to visit me...and the other girls, of course, but i'm the only one he emails. how freaking nuts is that?

ok. so yeah, i am worried that it might be awkward. i don't really know him and i haven't seen him since may. we're just friends, but after talking to reeds-the-relationship-genius, i'm a schized out...neuroticism is in full force. do you think he's a serial killer and will murder me in my sleep?!? do you think he's brought a wad of cash that he's expecting to leave in an unmarked envelope on my dresser when he leaves?!? is he gay and thinks we're besties?! (ok...i'll tell you for a FACT that the last conclusion i jumped to is false. hey hey) - but from a guy's perspective (correction, reeds' perspective)...these are my options. i'm either dead meat or will be the bearer of bad news when he starts unpacking his massage oils.

or maybe he's just a really nice guy who's genuinely interested in visiting the US of A (for only the second time in his life) and is just happy that he now has a friend here? maybe i've tricked him into thinking that i'm a completely normal and sane person who is sometimes fun to hang out with? who knows. but the first thing we're doing when he lands is hittin' up chuy's. the only thing i have to offer in the form of culture is a good plate of tex-mex and a margarita. cheers mates!

i'm goint to definitely be tweeting this trysty experience, complete with twitpics for evidence that i'm not making it up. i have a feeling that the next 48 hours is going to be hil-ar-i-ous. all signs point to laura being a liiiittle less than stealth. wish me luck.

oh, and if you're wondering what became of jill and scotty (the dude she met at the party we went to in london)...they are now in a serious relationship. they rendezvoused in san fran for 2 weeks this summer and she'll be spending some time in australia with him later this month. fairy tale shivonne-style? yup.

love/miss/namaste.

watch this vid.

and be encouraged.

send it up.

when you get a moment, send up a prayer for the chandlers. matt is the pastor of my church here in Dallas (The Village) and he's undergoing brain surgery as i type this. pray for comfort, strength, and healing for him and his family (wife and 3 little ones)...as well as wisdom and precision for the doctors.

my heart is full...and i am thankful.

lmn.

a genda.

since the first weekend in december has big shoes to fill (cough, hanson), i'm going to set the bar at a mediocre height as to not be completely disappointed...although it's looking like it will be pretty legit.

tonight after yoga i'm going to see a screening of Up in the Air with bethany (who i've been begging to break into the blogworld...). i'm stoked because it looks like a really great flick and george cloony is fantastic...speaking of, he's also the voice of Fantastic Mr. Fox in a film of the same name. it is SO funny, i highly recommend it. especially if you grew up reading Roald Dahl books like me.

tomorrow night is our work christmas party and word on the street is, this hooptie is gonna be off the chain. there will be vino flowin' and perhaps even a designated dancing area. don't worry, i'm probably going to wear another onesie i've got tucked away for such occasions and who knows, maybe i'll add some sequined accessories. i don't know if i'll have time.

saturday will be a shopping day with 3 of my best friends, LC, lizzie and the aforementioned should-be-a-blogger bethany. (LC, if you're reading this, you need to be a blogger too. do it for ollie) of course, we'll be watching the big 12 championship but there is also another shindig going down....

Liz introduced me and some other friends to 2birds1blog "the sardonic voice of 20-somethings everywhere". it is literally the funniest collection of writings i have ever read. sometimes when i'm reading it by myself i will bust out laughing and thank God for these people. if you've never read it before start with the fan favorites, they are hysterical. one of my personal favs is this. and you're welcome. anywho, the blog is based out of DC and meg, the main writer, has planned a "Jager Ball" for this saturday for all her readers to come out, mingle, and meet her and the other bloggers. since going to DC for just a blog party is not a feasible option or responsible decision, reeds has decided to head up a satellite party - that's right. dallas 2birds readers will be able to have their own Jager Ball and do a little mingling of our own. srroooooo....if you're in the area and love that blog OR if you haven't read it but like to have fun OR if you just started reading it 45 seconds ago and are now hooked and live in dallas, come to Quarter Bar this saturday at 8PM. also, reeds and meg may or may not have a tryst going on since the inception of this planned gathering...

sorry, no more encounters with CN...he's makin' himself pretty scarce around these parts. or maybe he's just busy. or maybe the awkwardness is all in my head. probably. but maybe not...

love/miss/namaste.

oh. hey, december.

well it's december first. and i lay my head down tonight knowing i tried my best, but i did not do my best. see, i had another encounter with CN.

after work i went to 24hour like a good little yogi (wannabe), so i got home around 7:28. it was dark. the rain fell steadily as i threaded the needle of my jeep in reverse into my parking spot at the condo. [sidenote - i suck at driving, but i guarantee i can park a car better than you]. i was chatting with my mom on the phone, when all of the sudden, i spotted him under a large umbrella watching his dog defecate 20 feet from me in my impeccably parked car: cute neighbor.

me: "mom i gotta go...cute neighbor."
mom: "say no more" click.

i quickly and carefully removed my (thank goodness, only 2) bags and closed the door. CN walked over to me and asked if i'd like some umbrella. this dude is seriously chivalrous, i'm swooning right now...he always seems to be helping me with something or other... anyway, i pop underneath his umbrella and decide that i'm going to be cool, calm, collective Laura and charm the living daylights out of him.

me: "thanks, you are so nice. how have you been, i haven't seen you around in a while?"
CN: "oh i was in iowa for the holidays, i just got back last night."
me: "are you originally from there?"
CN: "no, but my parents live there now. ellie loved it, she got to play with her cousins." (ellie is his black lab, i was petting her)
me: "oh cool. so.... did you drive...or..."
CN: [smiles] "oh yea."
[crickets]

pause. OF COURSE HE DROVE YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A COHERENT HUMAN BEING. action!

me: pretending that the last 20 seconds didn't happen..."thank you so much for your umbrella services." [he walked me all the way to my door! swoon and a half]
CN: "no problem at all" (quick smile, complete with sparkle teeth noise at the end of orbit commercials)
me: "i seem to be having bad luck with the rain lately. i keep forgetting to bring my umbrella with me when i leave my house. it's just hanging on my door handle and i never remember to bring it...
...and i just got this new patio furniture and i don't want it to get all soggy so my room is completely filled with all the cushions and stuff...so..."

oh lord. i've done it again.

CN: "yeah...ha...well, have a good night, Laura." walks away, probably confused. i kid you not, this is exactly what went down.

i'm not sure what i was trying to accomplish by sharing that information with him. it made sense in my mind, but when it came out there was an obvious disconnect that left me clumsily rambling. maybe it was my way of trying to lengthen our conversation? or maybe i just wanted him to be aware of my new sexy patio set (see previous post and be jeal, suckas). maybe i was so in shock by his repeatedly chivalrous encounters with me that i had to keep talking so i don't just stare. either way, i went inside and palm-slapped my forehead in disgust. i might as well have told him that i learned how to do the bug pose in yoga today. that may have turned things around...

irony - do you know what word i spelled correctly to win my 6th grade class spelling bee? answer: Awkward. i wish i was joking. lots of people forget the first 'w', but me and that word...we tight. obvi.

love/miss/namaste.